Irony after Mother's Day

I'm not really sure what people think about how I have handled the Down Syndrome factor in my life (I don't want to know). My guess is that they all think that I have gotten over it and I am moving on.

I have gotten through some hard times and in turn it has made me anxious to try and lift the spirits of other moms that I have met who are new to the DS world - as if I had "been-there-done-that." Funny. What was I thinking? In reality, I am new to the whole thing too.

I remember telling one mom that I can try and help her through her pregnancy, but beyond that, I have no clue what lies ahead. That is how I feel today. I got through my pregnancy, but there are a lot more rough times to come for us.

I have been trying to feed AVH lunch for an hour. I have a child that won't eat, only has a few teeth, is just learning to hold his own milk, and has to be spoon fed every stinkin' bite of food - that's IF he will open his mouth. I have hit my wall. I have been feeding baby food for about a year now and I can't spend anymore time spoon feeding!!!! I would love to disappear and return when AVH can feed himself and eat the same stuff we're eating. I don't know who would teach him how to do all of that in my absence but I really don't care - just, someone else please do it!

To top things off MJH and I just decided that it would be good to try and get one more feeding in during the day to add extra calories to AVH's diet. I don't know how I am going to do it. I suppose part of what made me just lie down on my bed and cry this afternoon was that it means even less time for me to try and have what I used to consider a normal life. Thank you to all of my friends who still consider themselves my friend even though I have little time for lunch dates, work outs at the gym, socialization, and service to you.

Sorry. This post belongs in a journal but my journal is more like a timeline these days. Sometimes we're strong, sometimes we're not I guess.

I probably should go and get AVH out of his high chair. He's been there a while and he's not happy either.